Top 100 Games (Objective List)

Top 100 Games

By Brian J. Lancaster (October 2022)

Website: www.laughingcoyote.net


What follows is a list of the top 100 computer/video games ever developed. This is an objective list and any contrary opinions are incorrect. It's divided into 4 tiers, so the titles in each tier are somewhat flipfloppable. Please leave uninformed opinions in the comments below so I can smack them down.

EDIT: The list only includes the single-player games that I have beaten or at least almost beaten.





Tier 1 (1 to 25)


Deus Ex 1: Best conspiracy storyline, and written before the 9/11/2001 stink; a great FPS/RPG that made me want to get into game dev; talk to Morpheus in the secret Illuminati closet; "human beings feel pleasure while they are being watched": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKN9trFSACI

Baldur's Gate 1: The second one is better, but you must play this first and import your character for the best experience; also, it begins with a Friedrich Nietzsche quote: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoSqDtky0pU

Baldur's Gate 2: The one where you can finally romance your party members; Jahiera was the first love of my life even though she was probably written by a dude

Gothic 1: Again, the second one is better, but you have to start with the first one; the spiritual successor to the classic Ultimas, but made by a bunch of Krauts illegally smoking the Devil's cabbage

Gothic 2: Smoke that swampweed and buy a dragon snapper transformation scroll; a little unbalanced, but so much freedom and excellent townsperson AI, just like in Ultima

Fallout 1: Surpise! The second one is better, but at least this game doesn't require you to look at the player's manual to read dialogue like its predecessor, Wasteland

Fallout 2: Like the first one, but you can get a car, put a bunch of guns in the trunk, drive around with your posse, have sex, and become a become a porn star in New Reno; also, they say "fuck"

Fallout: New Vegas: The only good Bethesda Fallout game; beautiful dialogue and a great crafting system; still haven't played the DLCs

Clive Barker's Undying: Lovecraft nostolgia; a great FPS with some minor RPG elements; the greatest antagonists and boss fights of all games

System Shock 2: This game taught me that I am a pathetic bag of meat and bones; always remember that

Arcanum: Great fantasy RPG with gameplay similar to Fallout 1+2; you can max out your charisma and just convince the final boss to kill himself without fighting him; this game taught me that Molotov cocktails are the solution to every problem; Sseth's review: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXAPdwOza9U

Morrowind: This was the first one; there are many just like it; but this was the first; that was a haiku, you savages; second best soundtrack after Icewind Dale

Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines: Despite the obsessive use of colons in the title, it's a great immersive sim; I tried really hard to have lesbian vampire sex on two playthroughs and failed, but it's still great

Dark Messiah of Might and Magic: It never gets old kicking goblins into their campfires and hiding in the corner until more goblins come and then kicking them into the campfire; for some reason I can't stop laughing

Aliens vs. Predator 2: Holy shit, the Alien story was amazing; buckle up, grab a face, lay some eggs, claw your way out of a chest cavity, and find a cat for dinner

Planescape: Torment: A little too much reading, but debating demons about the nature of reality and consciousness is a great change of pace from grinding in combat; Ravel is the greatest name for an antagonist

Thief 1: The second one is better, but this one has more non-human monsters, so it's a different experience

Thief 2: Great antagonist, slightly better story than the first

Thief 3: Not as good as the first two, but I liked the hub city layout and the fact that you could keep your equipment after the missions; also the abandoned orphanage/asylum mission made me piss myself

Perfect Dark: Golden Eye but so much better; great single-player story, but maybe my favorite FPS multiplayer after Battlefield 1942

Age of Empires 2: Best RTS of all time; British, Spanish, and Mongols are objectively the best; Mayans, Aztecs, and Incas are objectively the worst, because it's historical as hell; learned a lot about history as a kid from this

Starcraft: Second best RTS of all time; just don't play on infinite resource maps because they are stupid and Protoss will always win by building photon cannons

Neverwinter Nights 1: Get really high and play the roleplaying servers and fuck with dedicated people who never break character; also the ability to make mods was a huge inspiration for my game dev career

Zelda: Ocarina of Time: One of the top games that inspired me to get into game dev

Zelda: Majora's Mask: Like its predecessor, but they actually added in some real challenge; very Nihilistic story because nobody remembers you helping them out when you reset time, but you do it anyway



Tier 2 (26 to 50)


Icewind Dale 1: Best game soundtrack ever: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUASUdWiPlA&list=PLOkyYzA7yJkwU3JLTJ8gEiE0Qwr_Y_9UE

Icewind Dale 2: Just another Bioware Infinity Engine game, so it must be included; also great soundtrack

Far Cry 2: Wildfires and gunplay that is kind of realistic, but not too realistic to make it boring

Far Cry 3: I'm a sucker for bad guy we're-not-so-different speeches, plus I always like more RPG elements; can't decide if it's better than 2

Full Throttle: Funny as all hell with great puzzles; my favorite point-and-click adventure game

Ultima: Savage Empire: Never beat it (like most Ultimas), but you go back in time, have to unite some primitive tribes, fight dinos and insectoids, and you only have like 6 bullets that you have to conserve; amazing experience

Ultima 6: Never beat it, but the world is so immersive and you can do anything you want; freedom of action; the Gothic series truly carried on the torch here; classic Ultima games are hard

Ultima 7: Never beat it, but great story; I think I was playing for about 4 hours before I got into the first combat

Half Life 1: Catch me later, I'll buy you a beer; I'm including all DLCs for games in this list, by the way; would be higher on the list, but it was just too linear

Half Life 2: Again, I'm including all the DLCs while considering this title

American McGee's Alice: Probably the best 3D platformer

Prince of Persia: Sands of Time: Some of the best dialogue and characters of any game, even though there were only about 4 characters total

Risen 1: Alright, Piranha Bytes recycles the same engine again and again, but God damn is it a good engine

Risen 2: Disappointed that you can no longer kill friendly NPCs, but you can still fight them, and the story is far superior to the first one

GTA: Vice City: Ray Liotta's greatest performance

GTA: San Andreas: I got to 98% completion, but alas I lack the true autism powers to get 100%; fuck that dirt bike stunt challenge at the San Fierro docks

Dishonored 1: Just more Thief, and there's nothing wrong with that

Resident Evil 4: Maybe the funniest game of all time; best inventory system

Deus Ex: Invisible War: More Deus Ex; I missed the skill system of the original

Deus Ex: Human Revolution: More Deus Ex; shitty endings

Deus Ex: Mankind Divided: More Deus Ex; shitty endings; I really wish Deus Ex had multiple endings that weren't just pressing one of three buttons in the final room

Anachronox: Maybe the second funniest game I've ever played; combat is similar to JRPGs, but there is a small grid to move around on, so it's a little better than JRPGs

Sleeping Dogs: You can shove people's faces into deep friers in Hong Kong kitchens and gamble on cock fighting; good for when you're tired of using guns in games; kung fu is way more brutal than guns

Tomb Raider (2013): Great visuals, voice acting, fun gameplay; wish the story was a little deeper It's like Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, except you're a hot chick with a camera behind you.

Amnesia: The Dark Descent: Made me scream and almost piss my pants


Ultima: Savage Empire


Tier 3 (51 to 75)


No One Lives Forever 1: Second one is better, but this is probably the third funniest game I've ever played

No One Lives Forever 2: Like the first one, but it adds RPG elements; plus there's a gunfight in a trailer park during a tornado

Beyond Good and Evil: Similar to Zelda 64; taking pictures of every single animal is a great idea; no idea where the Nietzsche title comes from; can't wait for the sequel

Gothic 3: Same kind of game but the battles were way larger; the AI was shit and the ending was shit, otherwise it would have been one of the best RPGs

System Shock 1: I don't think I even made it half way through this game, but I will when it gets remastered

Battlefield 1942: Too bad the servers are all down and you can no longer play this with other people, but it was by far the best Battlefield experience; you could drive an aircraft carrier around Wake Island.

Starcraft 2: Starcraft 1 but with a better story; the first game is better just because of the file size and convenience

Diablo 2: Some of the best cinematics, just like all Blizzard games; always to the East

Golden Eye: On the list because it spawned Perfect Dark

Out of this World (Another World): Great French sci-fi game that managed to crank out one of the best stories with absolutely no dialogue or text

Duke Nukem 3D/64: Those aliens are gonna pay for messing up my ride; better multiplayer than Golden Eye, almost as good as Perfect Dark

Bioshock 1: Great story; fuck Ayn Rand

Arx Fatalis: Very atmospheric; a little glitchy

Chrono Trigger: My favorite JRPG

ELEX: More Piranha Bytes goodness; not sure why the title is all caps

Psychonauts: Very unique story; gameplay like Zelda 64, which is always a good thing

Strife: Never beat it because I accidentally made the good guys hostile somehow, but this game had amazing faction and RPG mechanics all on the Doom engine

STALKER: Shadow of Chernobyl: Never beat it, but I think I got over half way through; a little glitchy but it made me piss my pants in the underground sections

STALKER: Clear Skies: Never beat it, but it's one of the most stressful games I've ever played, so definite respect

GTA: Chinatown Wars: The greatest game for the Nintendo DS

Dragon Age: Origins: Like Neverwinter Nights, but you could control each character; not as good because there wasn't a world editor or modding tools

Jade Empire: Like Neverwinter Nights, but a refreshing change from Scandinavian/Tolkien mythology

Betrayal at Krondor: Great classic RPG with a great story; terrible graphics

Return to Krondor: Never beat it, but it seemed like the characters were great

Age of Mythology: Age of Empires but with bathing, giggling nymphs



Tier 4 (76 to 100)


Zelda: Twilight Princess: Never beat it, but I got to the final dungeon in the desert; it was fun

Zelda: Link to the Past: First good Zelda game

Zelda: Link's Awakening: Best game for the OG Gameboy

Return to Castle Wolfenstein: Just classic fun; the Nazi witch girls in leather were hot as hell despite the low polygon count

Spelunky: I know I will never beat it, but God damn, do I have fun dying over and over.

Heretic 2: Very surprisingly good 3rd person sequel; nothing like the original

Metro 2033: Great novel adaptation; Russians and Ukranians know how to do depressing-ass post-apocalyptic literature and games

Vampire: the Masquerade: Redemption: The combat was a slog, but the story takes you from medieval Prague and Vienna, to modern London and New York; one of the most epic stories ever

Legend of Grimrock: Dungeon Master Remastered; great puzzles

Ultima 5: Lots of freedom and an open world; makes you want to learn more about the lore

Ultima: Underworld: First of its kind; FPS/RPG immersive sim that lets you work for different factions and learn rune magic

GTA 4: Niko Bellic #1

Bard's Tale 1: Really catchy DOS music

Team Fortress Classic: Best Valve multiplayer game

C+C: Red Alert 2: Don't go back in time and kill baby Hitler; Americans can train German shepherds and dolphins, Russians can train huskies and giant squids

Deadlock 2: My favorite turn-based war game

Earthbound: Hilarious Japanese take on American society; gameplay is boring JRPG shit, but you can beat up hippies in your hometown with a baseball bat

Lands of Lore 2: Great story and unique gameplay; not a big fan of live-action scenes in computer games, but it's forgivable

Lands of Lore 3: Better than its predecessor; huge world to explore and a pretty decent story

Ori and the Blind Forest: Easy on the eyes, difficult on the brain and hands

Underrail: Almost as good as Fallout 1+2, but I was disappointed you couldn't recruit companions

Penumbra 1: Very scary; great story

Penumbra 2: More of the first, but with absolutely no weapons other than the environment; the alien voice in your head is creepy as fuck

Portal: Physics aren't real, folks

Bully: Like GTA, the story is about you standing up to bullies, but if you want to, you can throw little girls in the trash; like how in San Andreas you are supposed to save the hood from drug dealers, but you can chainsaw an old lady in half on the sidewalk if you want.



Tier 5 (Honorable Mentions)


Metal Gear Solid: Smoking lets your see lasers and you have a special superpower to give people heart attacks

Sam and Max Hit the Road: Hilarious game with great puzzles, but Full Throttle takes the point-and-click adventure cake

Dungeon Master: Godfather of the step-by-step first person dunegon crawler, but Bard's Tale was better

Donkey Kong Country: Some bitch-ass stole your bananas, and now you gotta get them back

Donkey Kong 64: I grew up on Nintendo, which is probably why Sonic is not on this list, but Donkey Kong 64 was superior to Mario 64 in every way, not as good as Zelda

Banjo-Kazooie: Good times N64-style action adventure game, along the vein of Zelda and Donkey Kong

Prince of Persia 2: Old 2D DOS platformer that I never beat, but such good memories; wish you could have saved your game

Bruetal Legend: Tenacious D was the last concert I went to in the before-times; get that E in after the letter that should have an umlaut

Heretic 1: Bringeth it oneth; better than Doom in every way, even though I usually prefer sci-fi

Hexen 1: Like Heretic but with hub worlds and extremely frustrating puzzles


Worst Games of All Time:


Oblivion: I would say the worst computer RPG ever made was Oblivion. It introduced the concept of auto-scaling baddies with the player's level, and every RPG after that started doing it. The point of RPGs is that you get your ass kicked, go back and level up, then return and kick their ass. If there is baddie auto-scaling, then levelling up is pointless. Also, the story of Oblivion sucked and they wasted Patrick Stewart's time, so fuck you, Oblivion.


Comments

  1. Solid list, missed the MGS series hehe

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    Replies
    1. The first Playstation one should prolly be on this list.

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  2. I had to replace Hexen in Tier 4 with Bully. Completely forgot about Bully.

    Bully: Like GTA, the story is about you standing up to bullies, but if you want to, you can throw little girls in the trash; like how in San Andreas you are supposed to save the hood from drug dealers, but you can chainsaw an old lady in half if you want

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  3. Had to move Heretic 1 down to make room for Spelunky. Forgot about Spelunky.

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. I would say the worst computer game ever made was Oblivion. It introduced the concept of auto-scaling baddies with the player's level, and every RPG after that started doing it. The point of RPGs is that you get your ass kicked, go back and level up, then return and kick their ass. If there is baddie auto-scaling, then levelling up is pointless. Also, the story of Oblivion sucked, so fuck you, Oblivion.

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  6. Oops again. I meant Tomb Raider (2013), not 2015. Can they please stop doing remakes with the same exact name, please?

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  7. Great List. I personally would put Half Life 1 a bit higher.

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    Replies
    1. It was a little too linear for me.

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