George Santos: The Mary Magdalene of US Congress
By Brian J. Lancaster (Dec 2025)
Website: www.laughingcoyote.net
By Brian J. Lancaster (Dec 2025)
Website: www.laughingcoyote.net
Tennis Shoes
In 2008 in Niteroi, a city just across the bay from Rio de Janeiro, a 19-year-old George Anthony Devolder Santos walked into a small clothing store called The Salt. He bought $1300 worth of clothing, including a pair of tennis shoes, using the name Délio and two checkbooks.
The salesman, Bruno Simões, immediately suspected that he’d been had, as none of the three phone numbers scribbled on the back of the checks worked, and nobody at the listed address knew anyone named Délio. A few days later, another man walked into the store carrying the tennis shoes (probably a boyfriend of George). He said he had received them as a gift, but they were too small and he wanted to return them. Simões looked up the name on social media, and found the face of the fraudster next to the name Anthony Devolder.
Délio was an elderly man who was cared for by George Santos’ mother, Fatima Devolder, who was working as a home health aid.
Fatima Devolder
George Santos was very close to his mother, Fatima, who moved back and forth from the U.S. to Brazil at least twice. He claimed they lived in dire poverty in Queens, rats running around in the basement. According to George, she campaigned for America’s Mayor, Rudy Giuliani, nonstop for 20 years, barely escaping her financial office in the collapsing South Tower on 11 September 2001.
Yet the origin story of George Santos appears to be a Rashomon situation, with other sources telling very different stories. One such source – the official records – shows that his mother was living in Brazil in 2001 for the 9/11 attacks and was never registered to vote in New York. In reality, Fatima Devolder was a home aid worker in Brazil, and a house cleaner in New York, probably a much better person than the political campaigner her son holds her up as.
Fatima Devolder, mother of George Santos
Fatima’s records show that she immigrated across the Mexican border near San Diego, then moved to Florida, working field jobs picking beans and squash. When she eventually moved to New York, she got a job as a house cleaner in Queens.
Young Santos
In 2007 or 2008, Fatima went back to Niteroi, Brazil, taking her son with her. George had a great time in Niteroi, where he performed in drag shows as Kitara Ravache and participated in the local gay nightlife. He constantly boasted of his wealth, saying his father was a top executive in New York. Despite his ostentatious displays, his mother lived rent-free with family in Brazil, and she was caught illegally siphoning electricity from a neighbor.
Adriana Parizzi
Shortly after the investigations started into the stolen checkbooks, George met 56-year-old Adriana Parizzi at one of his mother’s bingo games. Parizzi’s home décor business was failing, but she had inherited money from her recently-deceased parents and was planning to move to the mountains. George put the charms on her, visiting her in her new mountain town and maintaining a platonic friendship.
George eventually convinced Parizzi to move with him to the United States in 2011, around the same time that he reported to the Brazilian authorities for check fraud. Parizzi bankrolled a New York apartment on Roosevelt Avenue, and paid for the groceries. But money kept disappearing from her drawer, and George kept denying it. Parizzi also said that George used her Brazilian credit info to buy jewelry, and that he married a woman named Uadla Vieira in 2012 for $20,000 in exchange for getting her a green card (more on that later).
Mother’s Death
The Brazilian Department of Justice lost track of George Santos until he popped up as a congressman in the U.S. He confessed to stealing the checks in Niteroi, but he also confidently added, “I am not a criminal here—not here or in Brazil or any jurisdiction in the world.” He had to pay about $5000 in fines.
George Santos has claimed his family loved Jair Bolsonaro, who is now starting a 27-year prison sentence for attempting to overthrow the democracy of Brazil. Considering his false claims about his mother campaigning for Rudy Giuliani, this may be another fabrication to win the donations of his Republican marks.
George’s mother died in 2016, and he collected money from St. Rita’s church in New York for her funeral. He also asked a friend to start a GoFundMe for funeral funds, and then shortly afterwards asked that friend if he wanted to go skiing in the Poconos. The friend declined. The funeral home was never paid. Overall he scored about $6000 on the funeral grift.
Adriana Parizzi
Shortly after the investigations started into the stolen checkbooks, George met 56-year-old Adriana Parizzi at one of his mother’s bingo games. Parizzi’s home décor business was failing, but she had inherited money from her recently-deceased parents and was planning to move to the mountains. George put the charms on her, visiting her in her new mountain town and maintaining a platonic friendship.
George eventually convinced Parizzi to move with him to the United States in 2011, around the same time that he reported to the Brazilian authorities for check fraud. Parizzi bankrolled a New York apartment on Roosevelt Avenue, and paid for the groceries. But money kept disappearing from her drawer, and George kept denying it. Parizzi also said that George used her Brazilian credit info to buy jewelry, and that he married a woman named Uadla Vieira in 2012 for $20,000 in exchange for getting her a green card (more on that later).
Mother’s Death
The Brazilian Department of Justice lost track of George Santos until he popped up as a congressman in the U.S. He confessed to stealing the checks in Niteroi, but he also confidently added, “I am not a criminal here—not here or in Brazil or any jurisdiction in the world.” He had to pay about $5000 in fines.
George Santos has claimed his family loved Jair Bolsonaro, who is now starting a 27-year prison sentence for attempting to overthrow the democracy of Brazil. Considering his false claims about his mother campaigning for Rudy Giuliani, this may be another fabrication to win the donations of his Republican marks.
George’s mother died in 2016, and he collected money from St. Rita’s church in New York for her funeral. He also asked a friend to start a GoFundMe for funeral funds, and then shortly afterwards asked that friend if he wanted to go skiing in the Poconos. The friend declined. The funeral home was never paid. Overall he scored about $6000 on the funeral grift.
Sex and Lies
Some of the monikers George Santos has used include Anthony Devolder, Anthony Zabrovsky, George Devolder, Andres dos Santos, and Kitara Ravache, his drag performer name in Brazil. In 2020 he would run as the first openly-gay, non-incumbent Republican for U.S. Congress. His marriage to Uadla Vieira didn’t look good.
Despite his declared sexual orientation, he has called same-sex parents “the flavor of the month” and supported a bill that would get teachers fired for saying “gay” in Florida. He initially denied his past as a drag performer in Brazil, and then said later, “I was young and I had fun at a festival – sue me for having a life.” It was much more than a single festival, according to old photos and testimony from his friends and family.
George also claimed to have only done that single show on behalf of a family friend and drag queen named Manoel Antiqueira, who has denied this. Videos show him participating in drag in the first Pride Parade in 2005, and performing at a kiosk.
His family and friends in Brazil all remember George as being fun and charismatic, but also as a shameless liar who nobody took seriously. One cousin of George Santos in Brazil, Carlos Affonso Horta de Mendonça, said, “With the image that we have of the United States, I am stunned that he was able to run for office without anyone verifying anything. And people say it’s Brazil that’s a corrupt mess.”
Jugglin’ Hoes
In 2013, George Santos was 25 years old and living in New York, going by the name Anthony Zabrovsky. He met a 19-year-old Brazilian immigrant named Leandro Bis, to whom he promised a green card and strung along for a while. Eventually Bis caught on to George’s bullshit and took off.
In 2014, he met 18-year-old Pedro Vilarva on Tinder and invited him to move in. George was living with his wife, Uadla, but he did not divulge to Vilarva that they were married, introducing her as just a friend. George proposed marriage multiple times to Vilarva without revealing his current marital status. It is possible that Adriana Parizzi was also still living in the same place.
That same year, both Pedro Vilarva and Adriana Parizzi accused George of stealing from them, Vilarva saying that George “pawned his phone.” Parizzi ended up living in a homeless shelter in New York for a while, and eventually she returned to Brazil in 2015 in destitution. She never reported George’s thefts to the police. Pedro Vilarva finally did a quick search for his host’s name and bailed immediately.
Another pursuit of George Santos before his run for Congress was Kevin Guzman, who refused his advances. Nevertheless, George would tell people they were dating, and he used Guzman’s photo on his own dating app (for some reason).
Friends of Pets United
George claims to have started a pet charity called "Friends of Pets United" in 2013, and to have run it until 2018. There is no record of this registered as a nonprofit anywhere in New York. It is clear that he raised $3000 to get a tumor removed from a homeless veteran's service dog, then pocketed the money and let the dog die.
The New Jersey boss tried talking to George about the money. George told him he was going to send the money to other charities. Then sent out a press release calling the story fake and saying he had no idea who the veteran was.
In 2013, George Santos was 25 years old and living in New York, going by the name Anthony Zabrovsky. He met a 19-year-old Brazilian immigrant named Leandro Bis, to whom he promised a green card and strung along for a while. Eventually Bis caught on to George’s bullshit and took off.
In 2014, he met 18-year-old Pedro Vilarva on Tinder and invited him to move in. George was living with his wife, Uadla, but he did not divulge to Vilarva that they were married, introducing her as just a friend. George proposed marriage multiple times to Vilarva without revealing his current marital status. It is possible that Adriana Parizzi was also still living in the same place.
That same year, both Pedro Vilarva and Adriana Parizzi accused George of stealing from them, Vilarva saying that George “pawned his phone.” Parizzi ended up living in a homeless shelter in New York for a while, and eventually she returned to Brazil in 2015 in destitution. She never reported George’s thefts to the police. Pedro Vilarva finally did a quick search for his host’s name and bailed immediately.
Another pursuit of George Santos before his run for Congress was Kevin Guzman, who refused his advances. Nevertheless, George would tell people they were dating, and he used Guzman’s photo on his own dating app (for some reason).
Friends of Pets United
George claims to have started a pet charity called "Friends of Pets United" in 2013, and to have run it until 2018. There is no record of this registered as a nonprofit anywhere in New York. It is clear that he raised $3000 to get a tumor removed from a homeless veteran's service dog, then pocketed the money and let the dog die.
The New Jersey boss tried talking to George about the money. George told him he was going to send the money to other charities. Then sent out a press release calling the story fake and saying he had no idea who the veteran was.
Mr. Santos helped "reduce" dogs throughout the years.
2020 House Campaign
In 2020, he made a run for the House of Representatives, reporting that he had no assets or earned income other than a $5000 commission. This 2020 number would be inflated to $3.5 million, then to $11 million when he ran again two years later.
In the Fall of 2021, George Santos commissioned a vulnerability report from Capital Research Group, LLC, standard practice in the early stages of a political campaign. The report stated that he lied about his MBA from New York University, as well as his Bachelor of Economics and Finance from Baruch College, and that he worked for a fraudulent investment firm in Florida. It suggested that he married Uadla Vieira to get her a green card in exchange for money, and at the same time lived with undocumented boyfriends in the same home.
Vulnerability Report: https://www.scribd.com/document/669945767/George-Santos-Vulnerability-Report-Summary
The report also claimed that George Santos had many liberal stances about things such as greenhouse gases and immigration visas, a detriment to a Republican candidate, though his legitimate views will probably never be known. He does not break kayfabe. The report caused several aids to resign, but it didn’t stop him from running again in 2022, and winning.
Between these two campaigns, however, George Santos worked at Harbor City Capital Corp, an investment firm in Florida. He worked there until April 2022, when it was shut down by the SEC as a classic Ponzi scheme. One investor, Andrew Intrater, invested $625,000 in Harbor City Capital – or thought he did.
“I admired him and fundamentally I thought he’s a hard-working guy — he’s young and he has the ability to win,” Mr. Intrater said in an interview.
2022 House Campaign
To get funding from the GOP national party committee, a candidate has to prove they raised $250,000 from donors in a single quarter. George Santos and his treasurer, Nancy Marks, falsely reported to the Federal Election Commission that they received donations from at least 11 family members, but mostly George used the credit info of his real donors to charge them repeatedly without permission, like a true baller.
George reported that he was the sole owner of an LLC called the Devolder Organization, which he claimed had $80 million in assets under management. There were no clients on his financial disclosures. He claimed that he got a salary of $750,000 from this LLC, but also that the LLC was worth about $750,000 total. The business address was registered in Florida, and it currently has only one review: 1.5 stars.
He also claimed to be a “seasoned Wall Street financier and investor” and said he worked as a consultant for CitiGroup and Goldman Sachs, neither of which have any records of him.
Over the course of his campaign, Mr. Santos spent $30,000 on hotels, $40,000 on airfare and $14,000 on car services. He gave $11,000 to a business called Cleaner 123 for “apartment rental for staff,” but it appeared he was illegally living there himself.
By April 2022, he began writing most checks for $199.99, two cents under the amount that would require a receipt for political campaigns. He even went back and changed some of his old reports, raising the price of expenditures like sushi meals (that he was probably eating on personal dates) to $199.99. He then went back to the records a third time and erased all of altered single expenditures, but he left the total amount unchanged – a quarter of a million dollars with no details. He was sloppy.
Nevertheless, he beat his Democratic opponent, Robert Zimmerman, by 54% to 46%, flipping NY’s 3rd congressional district from blue to red. He had raised nearly $3 million for his 2022 campaign.
Jew-ish
During the campaign, George Santos said that his maternal grandparents fled the Nazis in Ukraine, but they were both born in Brazil. When confronted about his lie, his retcon was: “I never claimed to be Jewish. I am Catholic. Because I learned my maternal family had a Jewish background I said I was ‘Jew-ish.’”
His 2022 position paper proudly boasts of his Jewish heritage and places his nose firmly between Israel’s cheeks in the name of “Democracy” and to defeat Iran. He was invited to the Republican Jewish Coalition convention and Hanukkah Party in December, and collected funds from many pro-Israel donors. The money would go to sushi, bling, OnlyFans, etc. – probably his greatest accomplishment.
Position paper: https://www.scribd.com/document/616593896/George-Santos-position-paper
Position paper: https://www.scribd.com/document/616593896/George-Santos-position-paper
Carla Zambelli
George Santos took a photo with Carla Zambelli, good friend of Jair Bolsonaro. There is video footage of Zambelli chasing and pointing a gun at a man in Sao Paulo, who was later identified as a supporter of Lula da Silva.
Video of Carla Zambelli discussing politics
Expulsion
In May of 2022, George Santos was indicted on 13 criminal charges, including wire fraud, money laundering, theft of public funds, and lying to Congress. One of his most blatant crimes was getting his fundraiser to pose as Kevin McCarthy’s staffer. On 1 December, 2023, George Santos was expelled from the House of Representatives with a vote of 311 to 114.
On a live stream shortly after, he declared himself the “Mary Magdalene of the United States Congress.”
Guilty Plea
In total, George Santos was charged with 23 felonies. In August 2024, he pled guilty to two charges: aggravated identity theft and wire fraud. He was sentenced to 87 months in prison, and then admitted to all 23 charges after the sentencing. He had spent large portions of his ill-gotten campaign funds on Botox, luxury products, and OnlyFans – a modern day Robin Hood, stealing from rich political donor scum bags and delivering it to adult content creators.
George started his prison sentence on 25 July 2025. He was then pardoned by US President Donald Trump on 17 October 2025, making him once more a free man.
My goal is to now get in touch with Mr. Santos so we can start a campaign of AI slop to trick elderly Christian nationalist widows into thinking their dead husbands are alive again, so we can then extract their wealth to give to OnlyFans creators.
Other Fabulous Fabrications
The above is but a small portion of the tall tales imparted by Mr. Santos. I’ll list a few more false claims here in bullet points because I’m burned out on writing complete paragraphs.
-He claimed he was in the Hannah Montana TV show.
-He claimed he had been to Moscow and Israel many times.
-He claimed he helped develop carbon capture technology.
-He claimed he helped produced the Broadway musical Spider Man: Turn Off the Dark.
-He claimed he was a star Volleyball player at NYU and that he got an MBA there.
-He claimed he used to love mentoring kids in school, but he stopped after he was betrayed so many times.
-He claimed that 4 of his employees were killed at the 2016 Pulse Nightclub shooting, later saying they were only planning on going into business with him.
-He called Jan. 6th (2021) a dark day, but he also claimed to raise money to bail out the rioters.
More fun on Twitter
Cameo Plug
If Mr. Santos does not get in touch with me for the AI widow wealth extraction plan, I will simply have to continue to develop projects in the “RPG setting of games out there.” Thank you for all you have done, Mr. Santos.
EDIT (12/5): He probably did it all on a bet at a gay bar in Rio: run for US Congress, steal $3 million, then get pardoned by their dumb ass President, whoever it will be.
Sources
“The George Santos Vulnerability Report.” Scribd (Fall 2021). https://www.scribd.com/document/669945767/George-Santos-Vulnerability-Report-Summary
“George Santos Position Paper.” Scribd (27 Dec 2022). https://www.scribd.com/document/616593896/George-Santos-position-paper
“George Santos and the Case of the Missing $365,000.” New York Times (13 Feb 2023). https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/13/nyregion/george-santos-campaign-money.html
“Brazil to Reopen Probe of George Santos in 2008 checkbook fraud case.” Washington Post (3 Jan 2023). https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2023/01/03/george-santos-brazil-check-fraud/
“The Unvarnished Story of George Santos and His Mother.” Vanity Fair (13 Nov 2023). https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2023/11/the-unvarnished-story-of-george-santos-and-his-mother
“For George Santos, a life in Brazil at odds with his GOP politics.” Washington Post (31 Aug 2023). https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2023/08/31/george-santos-brazil/
“Son of Brazilians elected in the U.S. accused of lying on the resume” O Temp Mundo (20 Dec. 2022). https://www.otempo.com.br/mundo/filho-de-brasileiros-eleito-nos-eua-e-acusado-de-mentir-no-curriculo-1.2785705
“Brazil’s Biggest Soap Opera Right Now? The George Santos Scandal.” Mother Jones (5 Jan 2023). https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2023/01/brazils-biggest-soap-opera-right-now-the-george-santos-scandal/
“10 Wild Things George Santos Has Said and Done.” Biography.com (16 May 2023). https://www.biography.com/political-figures/a43867697/george-santos-lies
“‘We were duped’: How George Santos raised money from wealthy GOP donors while lying about his resume.” CNBC (9 Jan 2023). https://www.cnbc.com/2023/01/09/george-santos-raised-money-from-wealthy-gop-donors-while-lying-about-his-resume.html
“Former Congressman George Santos Pleads Guilty to Wire Fraud and Aggravated Identity Theft." Dept. of Justice (19 Aug 2024). https://www.justice.gov/usao-edny/pr/former-congressman-george-santos-pleads-guilty-wire-fraud-and-aggravated-identity
"Republicans defend George Santos as report details alleged sick dog fraud." The Guardian (18 Jan 2023). https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/jan/18/george-santos-republicans-committee-house
"New add to George Santos’s résumé: producer on Spider-Man musical." The Guardian (3 Feb 2023). https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/feb/03/george-santos-producer-spider-man-musical
“Promised green cards, catfishing, threats: How George Santos' ex-boyfriends say they were left feeling trapped, manipulated” ABC (31 Jan 2023). https://abcnews.go.com/US/promised-green-cards-catfishing-threats-santos-boyfriends-left/story?id=96797395
“Rep. George Santos' work for firm accused of Ponzi scheme drew SEC scrutiny.” CBS (9 Feb 2023). https://www.cbsnews.com/news/george-santos-harbor-city-capital-alleged-ponzi-scheme-sec/
“The Talented Mr. Santos: A congressman-elect’s unraveling web of deception.” Washington Post (31 Dec 2023). https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2022/12/31/george-santos-deception-house/
“George Santos.” Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Santos
Comments
Post a Comment